"Is it illegal to beat off in a parked car?" - d
By the atomic power of Cyborg Hephaestus, I shall unleash my twin hammers of Laser and Cable! Micro-changes in air density. You are not ready for immortality. We're gonna reenact scenes from Aliens with our genitalia. Smegmatite.
"Time to kill the politicians." = truck stop graffiti somewhere between Van Buren and Springfield, MO.
"How's the drive?"
"Scary. Bruce is getting me through it."
"Shitty weather? It's driving snow/sleet here."
"Yeah. Bad weather, car's actin' funky, and I got acid eyes."
"The clouds have parted. I am one with the night, and with my machine. We are the American Dreams."
"Ride on, steel warrior. Cut the night in twain."
"Jesus Christ, this trip is like a mind journey. I feel like we're driving around the moon. It's fucking snowing like crazy in Texas." - n
"Our lot as men is to learn and one goes to knowledge as one goes to war. [...] One goes to knowledge or to war with fear, with respect, aware that one is going to war, and with absolute confidence in oneself." - from a Castaneda book, I forget which
"You're either lying in a ditch, in jail, or you've ditched me. I would appreciate knowing which one it is." - m
"I'm drunk. DRI is about to play. I've already gotten punched. I miss you."
"I just finished a shift making shitty pizzas. My buttcrack is sweaty. I'm hungover. I threw up in the shower today. I love you."
"Soldier's joy is a combination of morphine and alcohol given to Civil War soldiers before a limb was amputated. It's also a euphemism for masturbation."
'Tis a good day to stand in the sun and howl like the beast that you are.
I think I've begun photosynthesis.
I am turning into an algae elemental.
I can never be a meat human again.
Life will forever be naught but controlled folly.
Orbs and orbs.
Auras and areolas.
My antennae are sprouting and they feel like boners.
Tennessee in Spring is a little like Heaven. It nearly rivals the Ozarks in pleasantness. The blood's flowin', and we're all crazy.
"Spring is here and it brought new playlists and hipster girls with shitty haircuts. Guy in a Descendents hoodie just puked on himself then fell down a flight of stairs. It's a treacherous slope. All that was good is not." - i
Oh, it'll storm, kid. It always does. [famous last words to the last lover we will ever take -ed.]
Today I am a young man, tomorrow I'll be dead.
I got a brown paper bag and black buckle shoes. - hs
"I had a dream I was at House Pride. Woke up to a hangover and angry texts. Sleeping rules"
"We're innocent when we dream, dude."
"And guilty when we drink."
I need a ladder for forever.
"If you were from Memphis, 'Memorial Day' would be a much different song. It's all blues, booze, and bad news. Gangland feuds and throwaway .22s. I hate this weekend." - w
I am in a car. I do push-ups and dope. I go to Kroger. Life is simple and quiet, but there's a little Kevin-shaped hole in my days.
I'm eating a salad all by myself in the Expanse. I'm not wearing shoes or a shirt, and the mosquitos are eating me. The moon looks crazy, shimmering stone behind a sea of clouds and amidst a sea of contrails. Good night to be a beast.
"Things are the mind's mute looking glass." - Walter de la Mare
"It looks like the top of your head is peeking out of the bathroom trash can."
1. Boneroo, morning of. Already finished off a bottle of red wine. It's bullshit o'clock. Will keep you posted, turning off phone for now. 2. This is the most insane shit. Already got smoked out by a stranger. Baroness playing now, too loud and hot up close so now I'm loungin' in the grass in front of the stage and checking out the bazillion babes while eating dried fruit. There are drugs and weirdos EVERYWHERE. 3. I've been up with the sun, beer and whiskey and 'dro and corn on the cob. Walking to see Conan O'Brien and maybe Gaslight Anthem. So many people. Megan is 21 and already drunk. 4. Gaslight sucked. Conan says the f-word. Seeing Nas soon, then She & Him, Steve Martin, Flaming Lips, Crystal Method. Neon Indian had naked hipster chicks on stage last night. We're napping in the shady grass now. 5. Higher than heaven, watching Nas. I think it's going to make me cry. 6. Grilling salmon at our camp. Kings of Leon blaring through the trees. Getting ready to get real fucked up, ride the Ferris Wheel, and see the Flaming Lips. This is an Experience, a cosmic bazaar of humanity. 7. Lounging in my underwear, smoking probably my thirtieth bowl. Flaming Lips last night blew my fucking mind. Twas akin to the gates of Heaven opening before me. Then we passed out under a tree. We woke at 5 this morning, Crystal Method were still playing. Got so fucked up immediately this morning, rocked the fuck out front row at Jimmy Cliff, then Isis and the Melvins made me feel so bad and good and crazy and I took a metalnap. Jay-Z and GWAR tonight. 8. Just finished rolling during Jay-Z's atomic set. Smoking weed in the grass in front of Thievery Corporation in a gentle rain. Fucked up, feelin' like an angel. GWAR starts at 2:30. 9. Undulations reaching critical. I lost my cigarettes and have a nasty sunburn. I am extremely healthy confused and in several states. Excelsior. 10. Everyone is wandering around with the same dazed expressions. Day Four is not a pretty sight. 11. There are so many little glassy-eyed half-naked girls, high for days, walking around with dirty faery wings, dragging hula-hoops. They haven't slept in days.
"How's the ajax treating you?"
Opium and Van Morrison. I bought a bunch of Hulk comics. Read "Excelsior" by Longfellow.
Was ever there a person born readily equipped to cope with life and all its grace and pain? I envy them infinitely, but doubt their sincerity. I crave realist transcendence. Fuck. All we are is Feel.
"I think the pain is temporary. The truths we know are independent of our emotions and ourselves. We just have to learn to adapt to them. The controlled folly cannot hurt us when we see it for what it is. We only have to embrace the joyous and ignore the rest, for it is truly inconsequential." (s)
Never mind, life is beautiful.
I am beyond emotional attachment to [it]. I am learning true liberation. Hungry hyena advancing on the menagerie. We are So Free. Always shall be. No other way.
I forgot how good drunk is.
My true self is drunk.
I'm just a bitter shithead, though all piss-losophies tell me not to be. And not even for good reason. WU WEI
means I don't give a shit. The harsh realities of non-ordinary reality. I sink exhausted into their feathery embrace.
I really don't know how we're supposed to do anything but hate, or at the very least remain incredibly indifferent to, everything and anyone around us, knowing what we know and feeling what we feel. It's a bitter skin. I'm having trouble with these lessons learned.
Kevin just ran three red lights. I just saw a billboard that said "MONKEYS: Magic Beyond Belief".
Yes. Waste the girls. Pain is a beautiful wing. I have a new tattoo. I'm sitting in the Expanse alone with a bottle of wine and some Fortuna-brand cigarettes. I was born in Fortuna, CA. These cigarettes suck.
Connectivity. Our children will have no idea what came before. We are angels in a circuitry gossamer. Bleed beer, shit drugs.
blanket on [tour]:
Drunk, KCMO. Raining like hell. I'm on the patio at The Riot Room and they're playing all of 24 Hour Revenge Therapy. Rain rain Jawbreaker and cigarettes.
"I'm literally having a nervous breakdown in a record store in Lawrence."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Are you ok?"
"Whatever is wrong, it's all going to be fine. Just spend a few minutes by yourself and take deep breaths."
"Haha, no, I was just freaking out about records. Left without buying a thing, I feel good about that".
"Shit. I thought you were freaking out."
"Oh, I was. It was just for a stupid reason. They had NASA, I See a Darkness, and Dear You, and the record store dudes were sweeties and calmed me down and talked me out of all of 'em."
"Five nights ago I slept in Idaho. Four nights ago, Utah. Three nights ago I slept in Missouri. Two nights ago, Mississippi. Last night, I slept in Florida." (b)
"That's beautiful. I been doin' some hard travelin', I thought you know'd. No one else is awake, so I'm walking around KCMO."
"I've done that many a time. It's nice to see a new city with no one to distract you."
"Very much so. I'm trying to find a place to eat and get me a Coke, but no luck thus far. Lots of apartment buildings and churches."
"Eating hot dogs and smoking cigarettes on the curb like a hoodrat now. It just started raining on me, and it's a thirty minute walk back. Oh well."
"Sounds like the city is initiating you."
"Rain always seems to follow me like an unrequited love. A welcome bittersweet companion."
"Whatchoo know 'bout Bronson cigarettes?"
"QuikTrip house brand, cheap & crappy. Not as bad as people say, but you can tell they're cheap by the taste." - h
Milwauker, WI: I am so coated with punx. It is muggy catpiss beershower. Tour decision: All the guys left to go crash, I'm staying at the punx basement show getting sweaty and drunk, meaning I gotta walk to the "crash pad" by myself, through a bad neighborhood in a strange town. Tour decision. Drunk. Wisconsin. Tour. Why not, right?
"Beast Light tastes like grey water. How do you drink this shit?"
"I don't talk shit on the ones that help you through your hard times." - h
Jung and restless?
Played on top of a grassy hill in front of the Pittsburgh skyline tonight at a fuckin' block party. Free keg, lots of handmade dumplings and artist babes. Drunk. Tour's been stories. Story me your stories. I'll story you. Danny will is coming to MURDERFCORO next Sunday for the Bootheel shit. It will story, you come. I can't remember how you knew or what I told you about it. This night checked my head, I'm moving to China. I'm going to suck Buddhist titty. Tastes like honey. I drank mead in fucking Mothman country last night, just an hour outside of Point Pleasant. Saw a woman turn to cat power animal. Met donkey. Don Quifriendly, didn't like the cameras rewinding film. Mothman left us unscathed, because I ate too many Belgian waffles and hot dogs. But he scared me anyway.
"Good luck! Stay safe. Fear not the higher beings." - s
Sleeping in a basement in Philly tonight, reading Heinlein by headlamp. It's been crazy and wonderful, but it'll be good to get home.
Sitting on a loading dock in Greenbelt, Maryland. Watching skateboarders and cute girls. Just ate some stuffed grape leaves. Kinda wanna go home. Tired and broke. Ran out of weed yesterday, and we only get one free beer at this joint. 'Bout to pelvic-thrust towards some Yuppie goofballs.
Just saw the Washington Monument for the first time. Quite an obelisk. We woke up early to drive to the beach. We might even go visit the Great Dismal Swamp.
I see the Atlantic Ocean. And now we're in a tunnel beneath it.
Coast to Coast was about stargates tonight. Apparently there's some sort of stargate believer convention in Nashville soon. I really want to go. Also, the "expert" on stargates said that there were stargate-esque obelisks erected in Nashville and St. Louis. The time is upon us. The awakening.
You ask me if I miss anything/Well, yes, but the loss is worth the gain/Ask me if I miss anyone/I won't answer, I'm too busy with tomorrow's sun
"Dude, I saw Kevin's doppleganger on Venice Beach. He's a sword swallower." - p
We'll never be sober again.
It gives you a really calming fix without making you feel poisonous.
Hadta purge. That man fell out the window. Jung slept with a gun at his bedside, in case his visions got too intense.
SHIT TOO MUCH PUKE. I'M RUNNING UP MY CREDIT SCORE WITH HEAVY METAL.
"Shitfire, gotta void the demons sometimes." - s
This is surely a way of allowing oneself to think without keeping a tight guard on one's thought's, whether logical or moral.
I have found that I'm somehow slipped into a Summer of Dietz-esque funhaze. It's a little more well-balanced, more akin to Drunken Master or dancing.
House Pride is alive.
"I have total faith in you." - mb