Thursday, October 17, 2013

Song of the Cockroach

unedited, devoid of proofreading, candid
first draft of Part 1 to a planned epic
tentatively titled "Song of the Cockroach"

Fear not, you dumbly spinning mundane world
you profane knot gasping in space
entitled beyond your own dreams
slitting your own cheeks to swallow whole the egg
your fish-eyed men and mean pinch-faced women
your mud brains piled high with false worry
ignore the devils in your soft hands
and the teeth forgotten beneath your pillow

Fear not for your attempts at love,
love brutish and forced and pitiful and hurried
and bored

Fear not for your losing yourself
within another just as lost and ugly

Fear not your shit food or your shit food shit
splashing in latrines of holy water
your tight fist balled in unspeakable anger
unspoken because it has no brain
formless nasty anger
stealing drowning eating, proudly glaring
learning ways to die slower but never a way to live

Fear not for your impersonal secrets,
your secrets are shared by all

For I alone have secrets yet, I alone am burdened with monsters of passion and folly held close to my heart and these I bear happily towards my own sunlit rock

Fear not the loneliness that chills your skin
the same chill of your lover's breath
as he mutters beside you
both so utterly immobile and so

Fearful of words you may find
(your arms wrenched behind your back)
begging themselves to be spake

Fear not the truncheon pigs
horny stomping our littered streets
born only to smash the skulls
of the peasant boys who dart between your legs
like cockroaches stockpiling for the apocalypse

Fear not the songs of these same roaches
for theirs are secret songs
and if you were to know them of course
the hymnal would be inborn
Glad Hosannas not yours and so worthless

Fear not the gentle rot of all you once knew
and everything-to-know.

Do you hear whispers in the dark?
whispers that are so envious of you
and of this final love you've found?
Fear not these whispers
for none should care so much,
you've invented these gossips on your own
while babbling faceless in a mirror
and shuddering that your love is finite
and impresses no one
and bitter is the love that is
nothing without the grounding that
one other may disapprove.

Fear not those whispers
they are only your own teeth shaking
your own absolution
no one cares so much as you

Fear not
for the whispers will cease
when your heart is a home to worms
and your skull a castle for the cockroaches
without the artist's palate to taste
oh how exquisite and important your pain must have been

Fuck your fast food, fuck your online prescence, fuck your blame, fuck your crude attempts at fraternity, fuck your lidded eyes, fuck your baleful heart, fuck the wars you fight and the children you murder for the gas pedal you stomp and the gears you grind, fuck your art, fuck your god, fuck your gardens, fuck your boss and fuck their vapid patronizings, fuck your pets eating better than the Congolese, fuck your eyes-to-the-stars and your feet in their ruts, fuck your parents whose ruts you yet trod, fuck your zoos and nat'l parks, fuck your president and his bombs, fuck your laminated flaps of human skin worn dangling from rearview mirrors dripping blood from one disgusting city to the next as you cower in the trunk and let the armless molester take the wheel careening burning gasoline spraying splashed against tree trunks and your own flimsy celluloid eyelids and your teeth carved from cheap glass and your hair falling out in clumps and fuck you and die so that we may commence our feast.

The hero a mirror to his brother man
Where they lie putrid he is electric, vitriolic
His eyes so beautiful because of the poison
While they wither at their own bite
He would not judge them were they on their knees
But still insisting on walking proud
he judges freely

"How are you fueled by toxins?"
they too chickenshit to ask
tottering on their bleeding stumps

His teeth are perfectly sharp, the venom
drips milky from their tips
Each droplet a world, a secret
and when they fall, finally, the bellows of
their lungs cracking their pipette spines
and pleading,

"What is your secret, you who have borne
such venom, what runs in your veins,
surely not the crimson samestuff that weakly
trickled through our own, what secrets do
your cells carry?"

"Exactly so, exactly right" I gently whisper,
cradling their sad face, their smashed skull
and they believe to have died before hearing the answer.

Fear not!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Riot Fest, etc

I kept notes on my phone during the blur-that-was-Riot-Fest. These are they, spelling errors (hopefully) corrected but syntax errors and general lack of ability due to chemical cocktails left largely (sic)'d. Also, I'm sure I could add more to some of these show reviews, but there's something to be said for the candid medium.

Riot Fest

Tera Melos: Never having heard them, I was totally impressed. It's like if Nathan Wall was famous. Promptly lost my friends and was having bad chemical foreshadowing.

Off With Their Heads: Loved em, but for some reason convinced myself they were only playing Clash covers. Bad things start happening to my head.

Bosnian Rainbows: paralyzed with fear

Best Coast: Following a "nap" in the medical tent, I watch these nice people from the shade of a Marlboro tent. Apparently they sing that "Boyfriend" song.

Superchunk: Great fun, played a bunch of new stuff, played "Out of the Sun" as the sun set behind the stage, which was cute and appropriate. Great fun cut short when a dude had a seizure next to me and I sprinted back to the medical tent to inform a totally disinterested "medic", which set about a chain of weird righteous creepiness and I raced around the festival yelling at employees about the "free water" shortage.

Dismemberment Plan: I found a good dirt hole to waller in and shield the sun from my eyes with a giant foam middle finger. Didn't watch them, but they sounded good and were hilariously weird.

Guided By Voices: Blew my mind, won me over. Bob Pollard did a lot of high-kicks and got wasted.

Alkaline Trio: Back in my dirt hole, came up with this idea and began writing, only paying attention to Ak3 when they play a song I recognize, which is about twice. Lost my friends and I don't think any of them want to see Rocket from the Crypt.

Brand New: SO FUCKING GOOD. Loud as shit, so loud they made my teeth hurt. I cried. Had a mental lapse in the middle of their set and got confused and thought they were playing reggae.

AFI: Especially considering what Brand New had just finished doing not five minutes before, AFI seemed wimpy and irrelevant. Bad.

Iggy and the Stooges: Iggy Pop is Iggy Pop. Some kind of sexmeat avatar. I had to leave halfway through their set to get a good Replacements spot, but Iggy & the Stooges were TREMENDOUS!

Replacements: Surreal.

Day 2

Stars: Regret missing their set, but it made good a soundtrack for tailgating with friends.

Public Enemy: Real bad sound for the first third or so of their set. Flava Flav is stupid and obnoxious. Fire that dude. Also, I'm pretty over the "rappers sampling/referencing Nirvana" thing. Seems too obvious for these kinds of shows, like, "Hmm, what do white people like? Oh, I know, Nirvana!" Yeah, but I like hip-hop more, y'know? After the sound was fixed, they sounded good. Live band. Chuck D's the dude. Sucks that I love hip-hop shows so much but still feel awkward putting my hands in the air. Justin got sexually assaulted during the set.

Flag: Way cool, set got cut short because a storm blew in and tore all of the giant Riot Fest banners down and shit ("There's only room enough for one Flag in this town"). We drank a lot of whiskey and Sean moshed.

At this point all of Riot Fest was evacuated and we sat in the car and got real weird and listened to Icona Pop's "I Love It" on repeat.

Bad Religion: First set after long-ass storm delay in which EVERYONE went back to their cars and ate/drank whatever drugs/drinks were left over (re-entry wasn't previously allowed - ed.). Mass delirium. I danced a little. I like when Bad Religion play their songs that are older than me.

Matt & Kim: Watched about half their set, not sure what was going on. Pretty annoying. Fell asleep in the grass until a guy kicked me to make sure I wasn't dead. Left Riot Fest, napped in the jeep.

Rancid: I hear em playing. I'm going to sleep.

And here are some random notes I took en route:

Turnback Creek, atomic veterans, Master National, lunger road, euphoria awareness optimizer, Huggers condoms, Running Turkey Creek, Operation Battle Fire

Idea: discount dental work, performed by children

"I have to concentrate when we kiss"


"evades hemps arpus waivor"

Bovina, a beautiful cow goddess


Goth Brooks playlist, 09/16/13

@ Martha's Vineyard, with Polywaves, the Violet Lockets, Annalibera, MR NASTI, Delvok

01. Prince and the Revolution - "Computer Blue"
02. Craig Mack - "Flava in Ya Ear (Remix)"
03. Jesus and Mary Chain - "Between Planets"
04. El-P - "The Full Retard"
05. Sisters of Mercy - "This Corrosion"
06. NASA - "Strange Enough"
07. My Bloody Valentine - "Soft as Snow (But Warm Inside)"
08. Ministry - "Hizbollah"
09. Big L - "Lifestylez ov da Poor and Dangerous"
10. Beastie Boys - "Sure Shot"
11. Sonic Youth - "Bull in the Heather"
12. The Clash - "Straight to Hell"
13. Apathy - "Dead in the Middle"
14. M83 - "Graveyard Girl (Yeksek Remix)"
15. MIA - "$20"
16. Grouplove - "Itchin' on a Photograph"
17. Icona Pop - "I Love It"
18. D12 - "Purple Pills"
19. Icona Pop - "I Love It" (sic)
20. Daft Punk - "Fall (M83 vs. Big Black Delta Remix)"
21. Love and Rockets - "So Alive"
22. David Bowie feat. Nine Inch Nails - "I'm Afraid of Americans"
23. Homebwoi - "Halftime"
24. Tobacco - "Sweatmother"
25. Material - "Seven Souls"
26. Smashing Pumpkins - "Ava Adore"
27. Superchunk - "Everything at Once"
28. Kanye West - "Bound 2"
29. Gayngs - "The Last Prom on Earth"
30. Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros - "Get Down Moses"