instead

The white noise of hissing trucks,

moths frying in mercy lanterns,

an old friend traces circles with gentle lung

while the fire makes dying footstep drumbeats

and night bugs sing waves.

I almost set myself on fire with a candle I don't need,

wishing I were drunk instead of remembering past poems

saved on a broken cellphone,

gone now

and hollow my heart's mute fingers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Backseat seasick,

wanting handfuls of round supple steering wheel,

head bouncing on glass instead,

already missing breakfast.

I should've stayed up when I woke up

sweating and sick of dreaming before seven,

blood caked on my blistered feet

burned hands from improper vices

spun from spider webs dull with falling ash,

thirsty for water or vodka.

My letters slip from clumsy grip,

god is dog.